I Have a Maker

Hooray, I am 22 weeks! Plus 1 day, actually‚Ķevery day counts! ūüôā Baby continues to grow – and kick and wiggle and squirm and kick and wiggle, day and night‚Ķ and I love it so very much! – and my belly is growing, too!

The maternity shirt I am wearing in the¬†picture above was a surprise gift from Rob when I was pregnant with Nathan. I came across it on Etsy and fell in love with it, and apparently I mentioned this to Rob. A few weeks later, a package showed up at our house with this T-shirt. (Have I mentioned how wonderful¬†my husband is? He has been so amazing during this challenging time, picking up the duties¬†that I have before and after school like making lunches, driving, cooking…doing whatever he can so that I can rest.) It meant a lot that he paid attention to something like that and decided to bless me. The little things count :). ¬†Sadly, it was only a few weeks after the shirt arrived¬†that Nathan was born, so I wore it less than a handful of times. I have worn it since, but it’s not quite the same, and seriously, my non-pregnant¬†belly just doesn’t do it justice!

I fell in love with the shirt because of the words printed on it, the lyrics of a song by Tommy Walker called “He Knows My Name (I Have a Maker)”

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in His hands

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

(Listen to the entire song here)

As once again life grows within my womb and once again we hold our breath as each day passes, praying for one more day, one more week, one more month, these lyrics are encouraging to me. The words, taken from Scripture, speak life and destiny over this little boy whom I already love so deeply.

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in His hands

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.”
Psalm 139:13-16

Everything¬†might seem unsure to us, but I don’t need to be afraid because God has each day of this child’s life written in His book. He knew this little boy before time began, so I know¬†I can trust Him as He continues to form his tiny frame.

He knows my name

“But now, thus says the¬†Lord, your¬†Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have¬†called you by name; you are¬†Mine!”
Isaiah 43:1

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
And before you were born I consecrated you;
I have¬†appointed you a prophet to the nations.‚ÄĚ
Jeremiah 1:5

God knows our¬†baby’s name. This is nothing short of¬†amazing to me. Rob and I have spent much time discussing (and at times politely disagreeing ūüėČ ) and have not yet come to a a final decision on this baby’s name – though we are CLOSE!! – but God knows! He has a name and a future¬†for this child!¬†There are many passages in Scripture about God knowing our names and calling us by name! This child’s identity in Him is sure.

He knows my every thought

“O¬†Lord, You have¬†searched me and known¬†me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O Lord, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is¬†too¬†high, I cannot attain to it.”
Psalm 139:1-6

How wonderful¬†that God knows this child through and through, even before he is born! He knows each moment of this child’s life and His hand will always be upon him – God’s presence will always be with him! However, not only does God know each day ordained for him and all of his thoughts; He is also acquainted with mine! He knows the fears and worries that I must continually give to Him as this child continues to be formed.

He sees each tear that falls

“You¬†have taken account of my wanderings;
Put my tears in Your bottle.
Are¬†they¬†not in¬†Your book?”
Psalm 56:8

I remember being surprised¬†when I first came across¬†this passage. Could this actually be true? God¬†collects our tears? He keeps record of¬†our sorrows? This is mind-boggling to me. (I’m a bit of a cry-baby, so I’m sure He’s got quite the collection with my name on it!) Seriously, though, what a reassuring truth! My God is so personal;¬†He is well acquainted with my joys and sorrows! He collected tears of joy and surprise when we discovered we were expecting last year after years of trying and coming¬†to the conclusion that perhaps that door was closed for our family. He collected tears of sadness and loss when He took that baby home into His loving arms at 8 weeks, before we ever had a chance to meet him or her. He collected tears of delight and cautious anticipation¬†when almost exactly one year later we discovered we were once again expecting. He collected tears of fear and trepidation when I started spotting at the exact gestation we lost our last child; I remember sobbing in my friend Melodie’s arms, at that moment expecting the worst, barely daring to hope. But oh — He collected¬†tears of relief and hope when we discovered this child, unlike the baby we lost the year before, had a strong heartbeat. He collected happy¬†tears when we heard that heartbeat for the first time and when we discovered we were having our fourth boy! He collected tears of discouragement when suddenly I was ordered off of work and tears of frustration as I lamented¬†that my body has such a hard time sustaining¬†a pregnancy.¬†And He continues to collect the tears that come – sometimes unexpectedly – in this time of uncertainty. How comforting to know that He sees each tear and is with me through every trial.

And hears me when I call

I have called upon You, for You will answer me, O God;
Incline Your ear to me, hear my speech.
Psalm 17:6

The righteous cry, and the Lord hears
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:17-18

Through all of this, through the joys and through the struggles, I know God hears me and answers my prayers. The only thing I can do is pray, pray, pray. I will continually lift my voice to Him because He is my only hope. Though my body may seem to be failing in this task of carrying a child, I am certain that it is God who sustains this pregnancy and that this child will not be born until the day and time that He has appointed!

I also know that I am covered in prayer by so many of you. I am so thankful for all of the prayers and love that has flooded in over the past several days. I am truly blessed! Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *